I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Randomize
