Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Send help, water and tortillas.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
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