It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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