At least make sure they are 18
Why
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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