Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
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