Texts From Last Night

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  (773): View more from Illinois

  I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.

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  (773): I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch. http://tfl.nu/99z3
  Replies (20) Good night (516) Bad night (1839) Order T-Shirt
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel

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  (215): she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel http://tfl.nu/yxdc
  Replies (16) Good night (460) Bad night (3946) Order T-Shirt
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...

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  (717): If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one... http://tfl.nu/slb8
  Replies (23) Good night (5779) Bad night (614) Order T-Shirt
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer

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  (732): just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer http://tfl.nu/hop7
  Replies (25) Good night (6397) Bad night (1074) Order T-Shirt
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  (206): View more from Washington

  She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.

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  (206): She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again. http://tfl.nu/x87e
  Replies (45) Good night (1779) Bad night (5555) Order T-Shirt
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  (518): View more from New York

  Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.

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  (518): Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight. http://tfl.nu/ukzh
  Replies (21) Good night (5056) Bad night (1092) Order T-Shirt
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  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis

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  (414): I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis http://tfl.nu/ml6e
  Replies (6) Good night (869) Bad night (3112) Order T-Shirt
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  (605): View more from South Dakota

  My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day

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  (605): My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day http://tfl.nu/e7q8
  Replies (5) Good night (2031) Bad night (2320) Order T-Shirt
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  (713): View more from Texas

  I want to celebrate with you...

  (214): View more from Texas

  There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.

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  (713): I want to celebrate with you... (214): There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner. http://tfl.nu/n2zn
  Replies (3) Good night (1532) Bad night (561)
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  (563): View more from Iowa

  You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.

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  (563): You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing. http://tfl.nu/fl0p
  Replies (12) Good night (1770) Bad night (482) Order T-Shirt
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.

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  (708): It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin. http://tfl.nu/e5ml
  Replies (12) Good night (834) Bad night (434) Order T-Shirt
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.

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  (610): i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship. http://tfl.nu/plr7
  Replies (7) Good night (993) Bad night (526) Order T-Shirt
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  (318): View more from Louisiana

  Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.

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  (318): Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult. http://tfl.nu/kp39
  Replies (6) Good night (1417) Bad night (336) Order T-Shirt
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  (916): View more from California

  Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.

  (1-916): View more from California

  Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.

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  (916): Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER. (1-916): Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt. http://tfl.nu/8glr
  Replies (4) Good night (1529) Bad night (334)
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  (870): View more from Arkansas

  Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!

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  (870): Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking! http://tfl.nu/tcnj
  Replies (2) Good night (498) Bad night (137) Order T-Shirt

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