Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction