Well apparently he's into motor boating.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
21 Reasons You’ll Be Forever Alone
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.