Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
My bed is full of blood and feathers
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
