would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
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