he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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