at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Randomize
