Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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