he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
