My brain says no but my pants say off.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
How does one acquire holy water?
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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