What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
