When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
