Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
