If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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