On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
it was like his penis was on wheels.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
