When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
he had hair everywhere except his balls
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
