The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
