just come out here and I will go home with you...
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
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