Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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