You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Randomize
