if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
