my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
The best revenge is premature balding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize