I must be too annoying 4 u.
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
