Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
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I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
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