Having a random hookup so left but love u
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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