so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
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