Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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