I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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