were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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