Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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