i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you inspire me to be a worse person
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
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