I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
