IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize