Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
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