Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
