I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
