they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
