I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
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