I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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