He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
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