Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
