shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
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