You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
