Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
