Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Do you remember whose house we're in?
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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