i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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