Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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