i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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