So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Randomize
