'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
