True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
