i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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