i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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