Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
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