You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
