last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
