she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
