Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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