having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Randomize
