That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
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