I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
